The bile has been oozing at many blogs over Twisty's post on blowjobs. I wasn't going to post on this, and I'm still not going to address the subject, since any discussion leads to a deconstruction of the writer's sexual habits. I'm not going to talk about my sex life on the internet. This post is about the behavior of people on both sides of the issue.
Why are we so incapable of discussion? You know, one person states her opinion, the other person listens intently, then states her opinion as the first speaker listens. Then both women discuss the implications of their beliefs, possibly argue over points, and hopefully, learn from each other.
I'm posting the two most vile statements I saw in my reading on this topic. One is from a poster on the pro-blowjob side, and one is a comment from someone on the anti-blowjob side. The subject of the influence of the patriarchy on blowjobs actually is important, should be discussed, and evaluated. Instead, we get childish attacks on people with opposing viewpoints, and a terrible callousness for other people's suffering.
In a post titled "Oh yes, please tell us more about this 'Teh Sex' you speak of, oh wise asexuals!", R. Mildred writes:
(warning: attacks sexual abuse survivors)
I know I know, I was as shocked as anyone else to find out that lesbians find fellatio and penises disgusting, and while some idiot who never got over am incident of abusive sex they experienced once and has decided that, due to the wonderful combination of being frightfully dull and being too shit scared to risk being hurt again, that all sex with guys is Teh Icky and anyone who has sex with guys is trying to cozy up to the patriarchy etc…etc… *yawn*, those of us with two brain cells to rub together and an ability to actually connect in a sexually intimate way with other human beings of a male persuasion tend to be able to find ways to invite men into our beds without turning it into a threesome with the patriarchy.
In a post at Twisty's, luckynkl writes:
Well shoot, isn’t a cock hanging out of a woman’s mouth the picture that comes to mind when we think of women’s liberation?
It never ceases to amaze me how men are able to convince so many women that even the most violating and degrading of acts are “natural.” What’s next hetero girls? Allowing men to shit in your mouths because that’s what’s pleasing to him?
We need to be able to discuss difficult subjects. But no meaningful discussion will occur when people write things like the statements quoted above.
I read other people's blogs to learn from them. But the climate of discussion on blogs is hostile and hateful. Refusing to hear other perspectives leads to very limited knowledge, a limited worldview, and a constrained life.
I feel as if I'm pounding my head into the wall when I write about these issues. The people who read my blog are generally not the people who need to hear this. Oh well, I guess it just has to function as ranting.