Thursday, December 28, 2006

The Twisty Thread and the Response

The comments section of one of Twisty's posts festered into a pile of vile crap. Several bloggers have been discussing this. Many people have rightly condemned the hateful things said in that thread.

This is not a post about radical feminists versus transpeople. I can't go there yet. My purpose here is to beg all of you to walk your talk. It is not possible to advocate for the humanity of one group of people by denying the humanity of another group. In fact, that exact sentiment was expressed repeatedly by people who were objecting to Twisty's commenters. In one of the attacks on Twisty's blog, someone equated a transperson with a "nutjob". Yet the same types of slurs showed up on the blogs of people condemning Twisty and her commenters. Here's an example:

“I wish you weren’t a crazy-ass, so I could listen to you.”

The slurs against those with mental illness weren't that frequent, given the number of comments. But they were there, and what broke my heart is that I never saw a single comment objecting to them. You know, when you throw around words about mental illness, like crazy, psycho or psychotic, frootbat, and nutjob, you're mocking disability. You're spitting in the face of everyone who suffers from a mental illness. You're equating horrible behavior with mental illness. Stop it.

Do people care about doing more than paying lip service to respecting the rights of disabled people? I really don't know. I was feeling isolated enough before reading those blogs.

Comments: Please remember, this is about disablism, not about the original conflict.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Radical Feminist Lesbian Festival

An intimate gathering of radical feminists
May 25-28, 2007

The Radical-Feminist Lesbian Festival is a lesbian festival open to all radical feminist womyn (lesbian, straight, bi,undeclared, other). If you know that men are waging a war against women and that rape, battering, incest, pornography, and prostitution are some of the main instruments of male supremacy; and you're unalterably opposed to all forms of domination and oppression, you share our radical feminist beliefs. This festival is designed to bring together womyn who share these beliefs for sustenance, support, encouragement, and plotting and scheming about the overthrow of patriarchy. See FAQ for more details.

Don't Believe Rape Victims Without Checking Their Story!

So far, I've deleted two comments from my post on the Duke Lacrosse Rape Case. Both commenters explained to me that sometimes women lie about rape, and that this hurts everyone! Rape is the only crime in which the victim is immediately viewed suspiciously. No one asks if a man who is robbed brought the robbery on himself.

Misogynists insist that they know better than I do. They insist that you just can't trust a rape victim. I wonder if they will maintain that attitude when the rape victims are male?

Houston: A rapist targeting young men in a Texas refinery town has struck at least five times since April, stalking each victim in advance to make sure he's home alone.


Is anyone asking if the men who were attacked wore tight pants (which would cause the rapist to lose control over himself)? Is anyone asking if the men locked their doors, or if they encouraged the rapist in any way? Is anyone insisting that the men who were attacked weren't really raped? I hope not. These questions are disgusting, and no one who survives a rape should have to hear them. But women hear these remarks all the time.

Women who have been raped are often reluctant to come forward for fear of being ostracised or victimised again; for men those feelings can be even more amplified, police say.

In the Baytown attacks, police suspect even more young men have been assaulted, but they are ashamed to come forward. Some of the five known victims told police about the attacks after initially reporting a robbery, Clifford said.

"When you're talking about the humiliation of being dominated and threatened with your life to perform sexual acts, it's understandable."

So men suffer more from rape than women do? I don't think so. I don't see men being treated as if they "asked for it". What a shame we can't support all people who've endured being raped. What a shame that gender has such a big role to play in how rape survivors are treated.

Going to leave an ignorant and/or offensive comment? Don't bother, I'll delete it.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Best Christmas Post Ever

The Unapologetic Mexican has the best Christmas post ever!

Christmas Bunny Blogging

Bumble wishes everyone a peaceful and happy Christmas.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Duke Lacrosse Case

This morning, I read Yolanda's post in which she broke the news that the DA's office is dropping the rape charges. You'll recall that this case involves white boys on Duke's lacrosse team who were accused of rape and false imprisonment of an African American woman.

J informs me that sports programs are all over this news, worried about how the poor boys who were "falsely accused" will ever be able to recover. It doesn't seem to matter that the sexual assault and kidnapping charges still stand.

The racism in this case is overwhelming. The sexism is so standard that I want to scream. If you think the fact that the woman worked as a stripper is relevant, you're a sexist. If you think it's irrelevant that the woman who was assaulted was African American and the boys who attacked her were white, you're not only a racist, you're a fool. If you immediately disbelieve a woman who says she's been raped, you're a waste of human tissue.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Biting Beaver

Does anyone know if BB is alright?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging

The hay drawer has been removed. Bumble is standing where the hay existed just seconds before!

Friday, December 15, 2006

The Problem with Mental Illness

Here's a perfect example of what happens once you're given the label "mentally ill":



Look at the difference between the psychiatric definition (#4) and every other definition. Generally, using a neologism is a creative use of language, which is a good thing. But for those labeled mentally ill, a neologism is a nonsense word-it's meaningless. Why? Well, because once you're mentally ill, everything you have to say is at best, suspect, and at worst, absurd.

It doesn't matter that many mental disorders are cyclical. Even when you're doing well, you're still stigmatized. I wrote about my gallbladder surgery recently. Once the gastroenterologist reviewed my history and saw "lithium", his manner changed. He did the physical exam and informed my that my gallbladder felt fine (the test results and the surgeon disagreed), and that it would be difficult to sedate me for the endoscopy he ordered (it wasn't). He even said I'd be so difficult to sedate that I might be awake during the entire procedure (which included 8 biopsies).

Anyone else out there terrified of medical procedures? I am, and the buildup of anxiety (I also have an anxiety disorder!) before my endoscopy was terrible. What actually happened? I remember watching him inject the drugs, then a nurse telling me I needed to wake up so I could go home.

When the nurse was prepping me, and Dr. Bigot hadn't arrived yet, I confided that I was scared of being awake during the endoscopy. The nurse said "Oh, honey, if you ever give signs that you're not fully sedated, we just give you more drugs. We don't want you to be awake during something like this!"

I guess she hadn't seen "lithium" on my chart.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Help! Most People Can't Comment

Yes, it's counterproductive to do a blog post asking for help when the problem is that most people can't comment on my blog anymore.

If you know how to fix the problem, but can't comment, please email me: spotted_ele@hotmail.com

I hate Blogger. Thought I'd switch to wordpress, but can't pay for the hosting thingy, and frankly am not up for anything complicated right now.

Update: Brownfemipower told me about the free blogs at Wordpress!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Nearest Book Meme

Elaina from Trash Talks Back tagged me for a book meme.

The rules:
1. Go to the nearest book in your reach and turn to page 123.
2. Go to the fifth sentence of the book.
3. Copy the next three sentences, then tag 3 people.

Tomo asiento y escojo una de las revistas.

Un hombre amable entra. El debe tener la primera cita de la tarde.

from Fundamental Spanish by Barbara Bregstein

I'm still on the pronunciation pages, so I don't know what I just typed.

I tag: Amy, BloggingMone, Sly Civilian

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Racism and Mental Illness

I'm a white woman. I'm also writing this post while I'm very upset, which is never a good idea. I'd really like to hear from woc/poc in comments, because I know the power of racism and white privilege, so I know that maybe I'm not getting something so fundamental, so important, that I'm missing the whole point.

There's a discussion over at Sly Civilian's about whether racism is a mental illness. Max Julian says:

The reason I conceptualize racism/white supremacy as a mental illness, is not because I don’t want to do something about it, but because of the chronic nature of the illness. I’ve talked to more than enough white folks about racism, seen their inability to grasp plain English (and these were highly educated people), cringed at their illogic, observed them strain and do verbal and mental backflips in order to sidestep the implications of their own behavior. From what I’ve seen, my diagnosis still stands.


The chronic nature doesn't mean that racism is an illness. Hate fuels itself and has remarkable staying power. White people refusing to see racism, to see the damage done by racism, comes from obstinacy. A person who is psychotic is truly incapable of seeing reality. A racist chooses to be racist. I've seen a lot of highly educated white people, and I'm not impressed on any level by them. They choose to be hateful and to do stupid things on a regular basis. Their actions don't spring from an illness, they result from both deliberate and unconscious choices that each individual makes.

Max Julian is right that all white people are born into a system of white supremacy, and that there is no escaping being in that system. But I maintain that all white people have a choice: go along with the status quo or fight. Racism is learned, mental illness is not. People don't learn to develop mental illness, just like they don't learn to have lupus. People have to avoid thinking critically, avoid seeing the harm they cause to continue to be racists.

Racism deserves to be stigmatized; mental illness does not. Unfortunately, the amount of stigma attached to racism is still very small, while the amount of stigma attached to mental illness is huge. I simply can't understand why anyone fails to see why I find classifying racism as a mental illness to be highly offensive. Please, offer your thoughts.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging

On cleaning day, all of Bumble's things (except my desk) are taken out of his room, and massive piles of fur and hay are vacuumed up. Smart bunnies always know the layout of their surroundings. When you run for your life, you need to know where you can run and where you can hide. The moving process agitates Bumble, and he has to go look at the new location of everything.


The litter box does NOT belong on the landing!



I can adapt.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Oh, Happy Day

This post is navel-gazing at its worst. It really would be more appropriate as a journal entry than as a blog post, but it makes me so very happy that I thought I'd share.


Today is a very special day for me. One year ago today, I had my gallbladder removed. If you're a regular reader, you already know that I take a dim view of surgery. It should be the last resort. For my gallbladder, it was! I was sick for two years, and the last three months of that time were pure hell. Gallstones can cause an impressive amount of pain.

When I finally got an appointment to see a gastroenterologist, I had a battery of tests, saw the surgeon, and was in the OR exactly one week after that appointment. I can't be too disgusted with the gastro, since he correctly diagnosed me, but you'd think someone who specialized in the digestive system would be able to tell that he himself suffered from having a big splintery board lodged in his rectum. Oh well.

The surgeon (Dr. Gallbladder) and the surgical resident both had an amazing bedside manner. I was quite suspicious-since when do surgeons know how to behave like humans? My poor little gallbladder was so full of stones that it could no longer function. Dr. Gallbladder said all it was doing was spitting out stones and causing me pain.


Not to brag, but MY gallbladder had way more stones than this one!

I was in enough pain that I didn't care about details, I wanted it OUT. If it was the thing causing those attacks that dropped me to my knees, then I wanted it gone. I'd been diagnosed with nothing but acid reflux before this. Lucky for me, there have been some advances in medicine, and I got to have a laparoscopic surgery instead of the traditional open procedure.


It's a diagram, but it's still gross if you don't care for medical procedures.

The laparoscopic procedure causes significantly less pain, and you get to leave the hospital either the same day, or the next day. However, sometimes they find that they can't do the laparoscopy, and convert to the open. I was terrified this would happen. I woke up in recovery with a nurse screaming my name at me (how rude!). All I wanted to know was if they'd had to convert to the open procedure. He said no, and I was so very happy! They seem so surprised when you want to get out of the hospital as fast as you can.

My surgery started at approximately 3pm, and even though I took a long time to wake up, I was home a little before 10pm. J ran to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled for me, and I sat propped up in my bed, grinning. In spite of the anesthesia that was still making me loopy, in spite of the pain meds, and in spite of the fact that its "home" was right next to an incision, I could tell that the fierce little ball of pain in my torso was gone. Want to know how that made me feel?



For those of you who read Monday Bunny Blogging, you'll be *shocked* to know that the one time Bumble truly showed empathy for me was the morning of my surgery. I was trying to get dressed to go to the hospital, and I guess I was giving off a lot of pain and fear, and it got to him. So he pressed himself up against my foot, and I couldn't get my socks and shoes on because he stuck to me like glue. J had to intervene. When I got home that evening, he was back to his demanding self.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Global Day to Stop Rape in Darfur



Amnesty International has declared International Human Rights Day, December 10, a day of action to stop rape in Darfur. Actions include:

* Show solidarity on December 10th with Darfuri women and activists around the world by wearing white, a universal color of mourning.
* Write a letter to your Senators asking them to do more to encourage the Arab League, China and Russia to press the Government of Sudan to admit U.N. peacekeepers immediately to provide security for Darfuri women and girls.
* Write an Urgent Action letter asking Sudanese officials to end rape in Darfur.
* Write a ‘Letter to the Editor’ to call national attention to the issue of rape in Darfur.
* Host a write in white event in your community and write letters calling attention to the issue of rape as a tool of war in Darfur.


Please take a stand for the women of Darfur.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging: The Radical Feminism Edition

Last Wednesday, during the middle of the night, a metal bookend and a 573-page book went crashing from a cabinet on top of my desk, hit Bumble's carrier (for maximum noise), bounced to the floor and stopped when they hit his litter box. You can see the basic layout in this photo (my desk is on the right side of the poorly-composed picture):


The site of The Incident.

Unfortunately, Bumble was apparently in the litter box when the bookmonster charged at him and tried to eat him, since the litter box was kicked way out of place. Poor Bumble ran for his life, but upon hitting the linoleum by the kitchen, lost control and slammed into a sliding closet door so hard that he knocked it off its track. This is a very sturdy door, so hopefully he hit it with his butt and not his head. We both came running to see if he was okay, but when he's in the panic state, he doesn't know who we are, so we just add to the stress.

This is too awful, let's take a little break:


Bumble in happier times.

So there's my bunny, he's hyperventilating, his eyes are bulging, and his whole body is shaking. Finally, he recognizes my voice and lets me pet him. The shaking stops, the eyes start to return to normal, and he accepts a treat. As far as we could tell, he wasn't hurt at all. It took two more treats to get him back into his room, but he finally went back in, checking everywhere for the bookmonster.

I've sworn never to store books like that again. He's sworn not to hate me for causing The Incident. What was the book that literally scared the crap (he left a trail, poor guy) out of Bumble?


Radical Feminism: a documentary reader. Ed Barbara A. Crow

Bumble's conclusion: radical feminism is no different than every animal on this planet. It exists to eat rabbits.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Defective Breasts

I originally had decided not to publish this post, because after all, we don't really need another post on how people in western cultures view breasts. But when I opened today's paper, I saw an article on The Boob Lady, and just lost it. So here goes.


When I got sick this past spring, I joined a Yahoo group for people with chronic illnesses. One of the regular emails consists of a list of links from the Mayo Clinic that provides information on a variety of health concerns, from preventing the flu to dealing with intractable fatigue. So imagine my surprise when a recent link from the the Mayo Clinic covered breast augmentation.

I clicked on the link, because I wanted to know how breast augmentation could possibly be related to health. One of the reasons suggested for breast augmentation was priceless:

* Correct a defect in the development of your breasts, such as having breasts of unequal sizes

So this is how breast implants are related to women's health! Only, I'm confused as to what health problems I'm risking by having uneven breasts. Is the smaller breast more susceptible to cancer? Am I in danger of damaging the larger breast by closing a door on it? I'm afraid to admit this, because clearly I'm a developmental freak, but most parts of my body are uneven. Can medicine come to the rescue? The only thing worse than misogyny is when misogyny enriches the medical industry.

Frankly, my misaligned breasts haven't caused me any problems in life. My mismatched feet, on the other hand, have caused considerable problems, since one foot always has an ill-fitting shoe. Maybe the Mayo Clinic will send me an article about foot implants. But then, I'd have to work my way up my body, undergoing multiple surgeries to even myself out so that I don't exhibit any developmental defects and make other people uncomfortable. Oh, wait, uneven body parts are a health issue. I'm sorry to say I've typed this entire post with uneven hands. How could I have been so reckless?

I think I'll focus on actual health problems, like this intractable fatigue.

***
The Boob Lady



Thursday's Seattle Post-Intelligencer has a story on a woman who likes to be called "The Boob Lady". I read the story, hoping against hope that TBL would be preaching a message of self-acceptance, and encouraging girls to challenge the messages that bombard them daily. Imagine how excited I was when I read that she speaks to girls in junior high school, and that her philosophy was that "They should be comfortable in their own skin."

Optimism only leads to disappointment.

She didn't start out as The Boob Lady.

A creative-writing class unearthed her feelings about her breast lift surgery two years ago and the impact it made on her life.

"For most of my life, my breasts would arrive in the room before I did," she said.

After nursing and raising those children and getting into shape, she underwent a breast lift -- a surgery that removes excess flesh and moves the nipples up -- and for the first time, she felt like she had breasts that aligned with her petite body.

"Finally, I'm comfortable with me," she said.

TBL wants girls to be comfortable in their own skin. That phrase, comfortable in your own skin, is important to me. I've been working for a long time to achieve that level of acceptance of myself. The way that I understand the phrase, it means that you accept yourself as you are. It does not mean that you accept yourself once you've had surgery to get rid of the unacceptable parts.

The article just gets worse and worse:
"They're not the end-all be-all but they are the things that define us as women," Squires said. "They're out there all the time. They define our sex, but it isn't who we are."


Silly Boob Lady, our breasts do define who we are. Someone, get this woman a radical feminist analysis of body image, stat! She attempts to preach about the need for a positive body image.

Bodies, she said, change a lot. And so do your breasts, with life-changing events such as pregnancy and birth, or through exercise.

"They're in a constant state of flux," Squires said. "Change is a good thing. If you don't like your breasts today, you may like them in 20 years."


But surgery to "improve" your breasts is acceptable. It's impossible for me to reconcile the idea that bodies are to be accepted as they are, as they change, but plastic surgery is okay.

...What's unnatural are boobs deliberately hiked up by some tits-on-a-platter bra, รก la Victoria's Secret," she wrote.


But breasts subjected to surgery are natural? Restrictive bras are unacceptable, but surgery is fine? Wouldn't it be so much easier to encourage women and girls to accept their bodies as they are? Loving your body, without reservation, without "fixing" it first, should not still be subversive. Unfortunately, it still is.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging



Bumble lost an entire corner of the living room due to setting up the Christmas tree. He is not happy.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

White Americans Giving Thanks

Many Americans will be celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow. The holiday requires people to shift their focus from constantly trying to acquire more things to being thankful for what they have. (Never fear, the culturally-mandated consumption resumes and goes into overdrive on Friday.)

Some white Americans even make an effort to remember how hard things were for the Pilgrims who arrived here wholly unprepared for life in North America. People then eat an enormous meal and fall asleep in front of a football game on tv.

My request is this: would each of you please, at least once tomorrow think: "I sure am thankful I wasn't on the receiving end of genocide"?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging

How much hay can fit in one mouth?



Sorry for the blurry picture, but his entire head is moving fast.

Post created using Firefox as my browser. Woo-hoo!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Ha! and Help?

I recently announced that I was going to be blogging again. Technology intervened and gave me a big &#@% you! My internet connectivity fails frequently, but it's failing for long stretches of time now.

What's worse is that most of my bookmarks have disappeared! I don't know how this happened, but I'm lost without them (I thought Netscape regularly backed up bookmarks. Silly me.) Does anyone know of a way to retrieve bookmarks? Everything, including the outrages I wanted to write about, is gone. Help!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging



Bumble was busy playing in the blinds when he remembered he wanted to help his friend Lexi overcome her fear of the camera. He decided the best way to do this would be to shove himself directly against the camera. No rabbit would ever do this if it was even remotely dangerous!


Bumble's straight-on approach


Extreme close-up of nose and front legs

See Lexi, it's fun! But they really freak out if you try to chew the camera.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I'm Back!



I took a break from blogging due to health problems. After awhile, I realized I didn’t want to come back. I’m crushed by the state of the world, by the way the women are forced to live. The amount of suffering and despair is overwhelming. Fortunately, I’ve been reading blogs, and you’ve all been getting to me.

Amy posted Despair, she wrote. The post is written in response to a question she received via email: “"I am wondering how you deal with despair...How do you stand knowing what you know, seeing what you see, feeling what you feel for womyn???? "

The entire piece got to me, but two things stood out. Her direct and honest answer:

Answer #1: I don’t. I spend quite a lot of time feeling crappy.


Ah. Other women go through this too. There’s no way around the fact that fighting for women hurts. I found this response freeing. It meant my struggles weren’t the product of me being “not tough enough”. (I have a lifetime of people telling me to “toughen up” and “get a thicker skin”.) The pain was part of the process. The work we do for women, for everyone, is critical. It is not, however, free from harm.

Amy also included a quote from Andrea Dworkin:

It is important to understand that we will live with a fair amount of pain for most of our lives. If your first priority is to live a painless life, you will not be able to help yourself or other women. What matters is to be a warrior.

There is no such thing as a painless life, but we seem to seek it out as if it was our natural state. Avoiding pain is arguably the strongest motivator for humans. What we need to learn is that it's okay to be in pain. We don't have to avoid pain at all costs. We do have to learn to find ways to deal with the pain so that it doesn't break our will to fight. Read Amy's whole post to see how she copes.

Sometimes painful situations in life paired with online hate become too much. An excellent and thoughtful writer, Amananta, has decided to stop blogging. I will miss her voice terribly, but I wish her the best, and hope that things improve for her soon. Elaina left a comment on one of Amananta’s posts that really energized me:

We are in a war here, Amananta. We only really lose if we stop fighting. Keep on screaming. Folks are still asleep; we all have to scream to wake them up before the sky falls.

Thank you for writing that, Elaina. Resistance can take many different forms. There will be times when we cannot fight in the way we want. But we must keep fighting, in whatever way we're able. Even small actions can have a big impact.

Finally, this morning I read a post by Biting Beaver, in which she said:

All of our fighting and screaming, all of our defending and begging and frustration, all of our anger and sadness will die, impotent and ineffective for we are battling an army, the likes of which we never could have comprehended. We are, for all intents and purposes, trying to empty oceans with teaspoons.


She’s right. Misogyny will not be overcome in my lifetime. It may never be overcome fully. But we fight so that one day, women will not have to live as we do. The outcome is uncertain. When and how will women be able to live as fully-recognized human beings? We don’t need the answers. We don’t need to know how it will all work out. We just need to keep fighting. We just need to resist.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Please Take Action

First, read Brownfemipower's post, Why feminists must stand against government oppression. Then, see the two posts below it for people to call/mail/email.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging

What's the bunny equivalent of a Haunted House?

When the humans cook meat.

Bumble's scared pose:



Fortunately, Bumble has excellent coping skills, and can be calmed down.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging

I got in trouble for last week’s post.



Apparently, it’s “naughty” to go on the internet and complain that my life stinks. Now I’m really glad I didn’t mention in that post that I’d called the Humane Society to complain about my living conditions. Also, I've been told it's not acceptable to demand presents, so I'm sort of sorry about doing that.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I got a little too excited waiting for my salad and bit her foot. Rabbits, that doesn't go over well. Anybody want to pet me? I hate being in trouble.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Look What I Found!

A great activism blog, called Stick It!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Monday Bumble Grumble



My life stinks. She's taking a break from blogging, but I don't get a stinkin' break. Last Monday, I did lots of fascinating things and she never even got the camera out. So don't blame me for no Monday Bunny Blogging. I was working.

I'm sick of everything being about her. She can't pet me as much as I deserve because of something about "problems with my hands". Uh, that's a YP, not an MP. And I'm going to bite someone if I have to hear "I've been petting you so long my butt went numb" one more time.

Oh, and while I'm at it, all of you bloggers who supposedly like me soooo much? I haven't received even one banana tree yet. I expected to have a forest of bananas by now. This is your last warning before I give you the Bunny Butt.

Happy Monday.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Taking a Little Break



I've reached a breaking point. I'm spending all of my time simply trying to get through the day. Just existing, waiting for time to go by in hopes that the pain and exhaustion might ease up a little. I know that I will have days like this, but it can't be every single day. Trying to survive is not the same as living. So I'm going to take a short blogging break and think about things and try to figure out how to have a life in spite of what my body decides to do at any given moment.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Deleting Posts & Thanks for Proving My Point

Deleting Posts
On Thursday, I posted this. In the post, I stated I was having problems with mental "fogginess"/confusion, and that I'd limit my comments due to that fact. But after I posted, I started worrying that maybe, in my confusion, I might have misstated something, or seemed to treat a serious subject in a flippant way. I took the post down.

This subject has been bothering me ever since, and after thinking and worrying about it, I've made some decisions. I have multiple impairments right now. Mental confusion makes it very difficult to process information and respond to that information. But I still have something to say when I'm feeling foggy. I'm going to screw up whether I'm at 100% functioning or 10% functioning. I hope that people let me know when I screw up-please, call me on my shit-but I'm going to stop hiding when I'm not 100%. I don't know if 100% is ever coming back, but I do know that I'm not finished thinking and discussing.


Thanks for Proving My Point
Amanda apologized
for her use of the photo (see link above). That's more than many would do, but she really should have turned the comments off, or moderated comments. People are pissed! How dare anyone accuse them of anything improper! You can use any cultural image you want, other as many brown-skinned women as you want, if you do it in the name of feminism. What's funny, in a sick sort of way, is how similar the reactions of many in the comment thread are to the average right-wing response. "You're too sensitive!"

Yeah. Right.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Meeting In Real Life

My first blogger meeting, although successful, has to remain top secret.

Sunday, I had my second real-life meeting: I met Amy and K! We had a wonderful visit, and I'm only sad that they live so far away. Amy has a hilarious post about the visit, with great pictures of us.

I had planned to use pictures of the visit for last week's Monday Bunny Blogging. However, Bumble Bunny was quite rude, and hid in his safe corner during the visit. He came out once, and went so far as to sniff K's foot, but then it was back to the corner. You can't imagine the trouble I was in when Amy and K left. Bumble thinks I'm such a stupid rabbit for letting strange rabbits into our warren. Sigh.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

It's Embarrassing To Be White (Again)

I'm not blogging much due to trouble processing information, but when I saw this picture at Pandagon, even in my foggy-brained state, I could tell it was incredibly offensive:



Why is it that clear-headed white people don't get it? In the comments of the post described above, Sly Civilian objected to the photo. He ususally beats me to posts like this, and can be counted on to raise his voice in protest over offensive material. In my fast scan through the comments, I didn't see anyone responding to his objection.

I'm not going to go into an explanation of why this photo is so wrong when I'm this cognitively limited. But if you think the picture is ok, I suggest you 1) think about the implications of equating a western woman wearing a burqa to women of color who really do wear the burqa, 2)think about using a burqa as a joke, and what that says to all the women who are forced to wear them, and 3) buy a clue.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Choking on Whiteness

BFP has a great post up about the blogger lunch with Clinton in Harlem. Does anything strike you when you look at the picture?



Where were all the people of color? The fact that the crowd was lily-white was explained by the fact that the people of color who were invited couldn't attend. Well, I guess that was easy to check off on the to-do list: "Inivite some nonwhite people. They can't make it. I'm done. After all, there are only a few bloggers of color."

When one woman of color challenged the whiteness of the picture, she was savagely attacked as a worthless stain on the blogosphere.

Unfortunately, this is a typical response from a white person who is challenged to think about race and racism. In fact, there's even a typical response pattern:

1. Immediately invalidate the charge of racism:

"See, Liza’s pissed because nobody invited her to lunch with Big Dog. But, instead of coming right out and saying that, she’s seizing on this opportunity to try and generate herself some publicity by insinuating that there’s some kind of racist agenda at work."


2. Accuse the person of color of a selfish motive:

"Sure, lack of minority bloggers is a problem, but that’s not really Liza’s real agenda here. She’s using this as an opportunity to call attention to herself and climb up on the cross. (That last nail’s a bitch, innit?)"


3. Attack the person who dared to point out white privilege. Attempt to drive said person into the ground. Repeat.


A separate issue blew up over one hateful woman's attack on one of the women in the photo. The feminist blogosphere mobilized and rightly tore the woman's comments apart. That's fantastic. But the comparison is painful: a white woman is attacked based on her appearance, and there's an outpouring of outrage and support from white bloggers. A woman of color is attacked for daring to question why Clinton was only meeting with white people, and there's very little outrage and support from white bloggers. The attacks on both women were vile, hateful, and extremely personal. Both attacks should have been condemned by a large number of bloggers.

But where is the outrage from white bloggers over the fact that Clinton didn't meet with a diverse group of bloggers? Where is the outrage that this meeting was swimming in white privilege? Why is the vast majority of outrage coming from people of color?

Hey, white bloggers, I'm talking to YOU!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging

The Banana


(peeking up from under my chair)
"I know I smell fruit!"



"OMG! It's BANANA!"



"Oh pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease! I need banana! I will be a good bunny if you just give me banana!"


Bumble received three pieces of banana, which is too much. When I told him there would be no more banana (one of the phrases he knows is "No more."), he dug at the carpet under my desk, tried to chew one of the desk legs, and savaged the plate the banana was served on. When all of this failed to produce more banana, my sweet rabbit gave me The Look, which must be seen at full size to be appreciated.


"You are no longer my friend."

Friday, September 15, 2006

Instructions for Women

Amananta has a wonderful post up, Simple Rules for Women to Follow to Avoid Trouble. Be sure to read it ASAP.

I hope she doesn't mind, but I'm adding my own suggestion to her list. My suggestion is illustrated, to help us smaller-brained women comprehend the rules.

Rule #11: Always walk behind the man you serve. Following this rule accomplishes two things: it shows your man that you respect his superior mind and worth, and it shows the world that you embrace your subservient position.


Oh, cheer up. The servants have to walk behind you!



Note the good form here: she's a pace behind, but watching him intently to see where he leads next.



A lovely variation on the rule! Walk behind the man, but with head bowed passively. Wonderful!


There is one exception to our rule. If the man has been desperately and unsucessfully trying to produce biological offpsring, and finally makes his baby in your body, you may walk alongside him. This allows him to show off his handiwork:


When the pregnancy is over, immediately step back behind him and assume your correct position.

Monday, September 11, 2006

No Bunny Blogging

Not today. MBB will resume next week, but today I can't talk about how healthy and happy Bumble is. Today is a day for remembering:









What stands out for me when I think of September 11, 2001, is the tremendous response of people involved:



On that day, strangers helped each other, people around the world expressed horror, compassion, and a desire to help us. Across America people lined up to give blood to help the survivors. It turned out that there were few survivors, but people were doing what they could. People waited for hours and hours to give blood to help out a stranger. These are the same people who piss and moan in the grocery store checkout if there's a delay. But they waited calmly for a chance to do something, anything, to help.

In addition to all the dead, these are the things that I want to remember.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Been here, done this



I wrote five posts on Tuesday. [First danger sign.] That's more than I usually write in a week, even if you count Monday Bunny Blogging. I only posted 4 of the 5, because I realized after writing the long 5th post, that I didn't agree with what I written. [Second danger sign.] Even though I desperately needed to lie down, I couldn't stop moving. Then yesterday, suddenly I stopped racing around and did nothing but lie still. I didn't want to read blogs or read books or pet Bumble. [Third danger sign.] Today I've been thinking about the futility of everything, and spontaneously weeping. [Brain, screaming: Pay attention already!]

Last time I experienced this, the doctors had raised my Effexor 2 dosage levels. It took away the pain, but made me cycle between hypomania and depression. The esteemed doctors decided to try raising the (reduced to original dose) Effexor by one dosage level to see if that helped the pain without making me cycle.

Nope. Bastards. I can only imagine the fun now as I'm going to have to wean off of Effexor and try another drug. Bastards. They really are trying to help me.

I'm overly emotional, so please know I'm not blaming, but I really miss Kaka Mak, and now Pippi isn't going to blog anymore and I can't even bear to think about what Granny is going through. Here's hoping the hypomania will knock the depression out of the park until this is over.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week





What a terrible name for such a great campaign.

One thing that makes me sad is that their website has this posted:

Does mental illness count? YES! See more here.


Now, it makes me very happy that they're including mental disorders, but it's unfortunate that we still have to ask that question. Mental illness is a misnomer. In mental disorders, there are things going wrong with your brain. I read somewhere that the brain is important.

Please help spread the word about the awareness week!

Oh, Her Feewings Were Hurt

[May be triggering.]

Remember when Tom Cruise criticized Brooke Shields for taking antidepressants when she was suffering from postpartum depression? Remember how Dr. Cruise M.D., Ph.D. said depression could be cured by taking vitamins? Well, they've made up. Shields said:

And through it all, I was so impressed with how heartfelt it was. And I didn't feel at any time that I had to defend myself, nor did I feel that he was trying to convince me of anything other than the fact that he was deeply sorry. And I accepted it.


One of Dr. Cruise's spokesmen said:

"It is true that his friendship with Ms. Shields has been mended," spokesman Arnold Robinson said in a statement. "He has not changed his position about antidepressants, which as evidenced by the black label warnings issued by the FDA on these types of drugs, are unhealthy.


Shields accepts that he's very sorry, and now they're friends again. I call bullshit. Shields knows the horror of severe depression. She knows that Cruise is against psychiatry, and proposes vitamins as treatment for major depression. She has to know that countless people suffer terribly from depression, and that most of those people do not have the money she does, so they get substandard, if any, treatment.

Brooke Shields has just served all people with depression one big, stinky shit sandwich. She's embracing friendship with someone who attacks all psychiatric treatment. Tom Cruise essentially spits in the faces of people suffering from mental illness. But hey, he made her feel special, so they're friends again. No need for her to take a public stand against his statements. Instead, she talks about how very sorry he was. She conveniently doesn't address the fact that he stands behind those statements.

I guess the next time I get depressed, I'm going to throw out my lithium, and take some Flintstones vitamins! My favorite Flintstones vitamin was always the car, but there weren't very many cars in each bottle.


My absolute favorite would be a purple or a yellow car!



I hope I get far enough into the bottle to get a car before I kill myself.

Health and Class

I hope everyone who smugly enjoys good health gets a frigging clue and realizes that they are lucky, not good. I hope that people who feel superior to those with poor health get smacked with a big dose of random chance. I hope that people with class privilege who sneer at the poor lose all of their privilege and have to navigate the US health system alone. I hope that every doctor who writes derisively of Medicaid patients has to undergo a painful rectal procedure.

I wish.

Ms. Jared Memed Me

Why do you blog?
I feel better when I "talk" about things that matter to me. Hate writing, but it feels good to get my ideas out of my head.


How long have you been blogging?
Since February 2006. For me, that's a long time. Thought I'd never get past the start a blog, then kill-it-in-frustration stage.


Self-Portrait:


That's me on the right

Not enough? Fine:


My foot and hand
Alternate title: The Bumble Sandwich

Yes, I'm chicken, but I'm seriously un-employable right now. Since this blog doesn't enhance my job-aquiring status, I'm staying hidden.


Why do readers read your blog?
I honestly don't know. For the feminism, and for the rage, maybe?


What was the last search phrase someone used to get to your site?
"neglecting one's appearance"
bwahahahahahaha!


Which of your entries unjustly gets too little attention?
"Monday Bunny Blogging"
Bumble made me say that.


Your current favorite blog?
Sparkle*Matrix

Sparkle puts a lot into this blog-great posts, great photos, great information, and a great header photo on the blog.


What blog did you read most recently?
sinister girl


Which feeds do you subscribe to?
I don't know how to do this! So I click on blogs of people taking a break, and repeatedly get nothing new. Then I quit trying daily for awhile, and miss several great posts. Dammit!


What 4 blogs are you tagging with this meme and why?
Manxome at Climacteric Clambake
Pippi at Villa Villekulla
witchy-woo at Well, I'll go to the foot of my stairs...
tng at Neural Gourmet


I want to know what they have to say.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Monday Bunny Blogging



They put this stupid fence between me and the air conditioner. I hate this fence! I want to snuggle the air conditioner.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Feminist Depression Support Group

Does someone have rocks I can use to fill the holes in my head?

My energy level is at a lifetime low, so I decided to create a feminist depression support group! Amananta was looking for one, V was discussing it, I've been chatting with Belledame about depression in comments, and today, I read Pippi's post about depression. Her comparison of depression to a near-drowning incident shook me up. Considering the life-changing impact depression has had on me, and the lack of a feminist perspective on depression, forming a group seemed like a good idea.

I hope that women will join to give and receive support. Given my current health status, I'd be grateful for 1-2 women willing to serve as moderators. The fastest way to destroy a group is by having trolls posting unchecked or member's messages drowned out by spam. To join the group:



Click here to join feminist_depression_support
Click to join feminist_depression_support


Any questions can be left in comments or you can email me: spotted_ele@hotmail.com Please feel free to invite women you think would be interested in the group.